Ten Things I Hate About Arizona Soccer

(And wish we could change)

Refs are NOT subject to suspension for poor performance or behavior. Everyone else in the game is answerable to someone, why not them?

Requests to reschedule Open League games due to coaching conflicts. Hey Mourinho, your team is in Open League U7s, they can make it through a game without your brilliant tactics! Besides, why do two dozen families have to re-arrange their schedules, ref assignments get changed, field schedules altered, all so you can be there to collect a few extra bucks from your outrageous pay-per-match club!?!?

Clubs who pay coaches for games. Really!?!? They leave 10 minutes early to get to their next one anyway, so why not make them clock out too!

Home games are an opportunity to showcase your club. While we freak out over pieces of tape left behind and whether the lines are just the right width, some clubs can’t even get the basics right. If you can’t put on a decent home game, you don’t deserve to have a club.

Drawing out a transfer. Hey Youth Soccer Club GM Extraordinaire, when a player asks for a transfer, sign the paperwork promptly, be polite, ask a few questions, and then fix the problem if there really is one. When they come back, they will be back for good. On second thought, never mind, ignore me, we’ll just keep taking your players.

Helicopter parents and no-show parents. Hovering ten feet from practices or tending to your little precious at halftime while the coach is trying to speak to the team is not good for the kid. Neither is handing the off to the carpool and never being there to see the smile on their faces at games.

Field allocations processes at most cities. Our 22-team club and rec program with 100 kids should always get priority allocation over an 8-man flag football team or any one-off, fly-by-night organization.

The Summer Silly Season. Are we really spending the summer recruiting the top nine-year-olds from extensive tryouts!?!?!

Geographic bias. The east-siders love to complain about Tucson bias, and there is some foundation to the claim for certain. Except there is also east-side bias, and going to Scottsdale, Gilbert or Mesa can be just as difficult for a west side team.

State Cup. For the competitive teams, every ounce of concentration is focused on State Cup performance. Sadly, it almost always winds up being pretty much the worst soccer played all year with teams trying hard not to lose.